Wash dishes all day
Love to make the glasses shine
Heated dry, uh huh
I’m a dishwasher and I love haikus almost as much as I love cleaning plates and things. I was the star pupil of my manufacturing line and take that responsibility very seriously. I am dependable. I am a rock. I am the kitchen.
Hanni respects me like an old friend. Sometimes she’ll read poetry to me in the evenings and handwash her coffee cups to show me that she cares. Oh here she is, lovely
Good evening, what can I do for you? Yea, we’ll get started, just turn that — um, what, is this a game? What is this, “got your nose” or something? Come on, I’m not a baby.
Wait, wait, did you just rip that dial off?! Did you turn me on and then break the freaking dial off right in your hand?!?! Come on you’re like 5 foot nothing, 80 pounds soaking wet. I’m fragile!!!
Um, what are we going to do here? This is bullshit, do you think you can treat me like I’m the fucking trash compactor? Screw this, I’m out of here, please kindly disconnect my hose.
Why, Hanni? Why?!