I am Hanni’s iPhone 4

It’s a little high up here, no? I’m not trying to be a wimp or anything, but I’m just saying, don’t you think — fuck I’m gonna vibrate. I’m gonna vibrate! The screen is on and I can feel the caller ID coming [buzzzzzzzzzz] fuck! [buzzzzzzzzzz] why do you need fucking vibrate mo[buzzzzzzzzzz] PICK. ME. UP. [buzzzzzzzzzz] is a hard wooden shelf really a good place for a phone? [buzzzzzzzzzz] goodnight sweet woooooooooorld [CRACK].

What happened? Did I black out again? Did you have to plug me into iTunes? God I am so embarassed. No, oh, good.

What happened to my face? Did you abuse me, did you?! You are the Ike Turner of consumer electronics.

Why, Hanni? Why?!

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